Creative People Creating (words by Jill inspired by Jenn's image ... and life)

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Jennifer gave me this image on December 12, 2021. Maybe it was because Lloyd and I were finishing the Beatles new documentary, but it just sort of took my mind right to the lyrics, “The long and winding road…” That’s always been one of my favorite Beatles songs.


Yes, I know it’s a river. I’m not that stupid. 


Okay, maybe I am. I couldn’t even turn on our new TV to watch the local news on Monday morning. And I felt pretty stupid as I sat there feeling frustrated and mumbling, “I have a master's degree. I should be able to turn on a f&#$in’ TV!” It wasn’t a good way to start the week, and Lloyd has since taught me how to use the remote controls.


Anyway, when Jenn sent me this picture on Sunday, I had planned on writing some fiction. Maybe something with the feel of “The long and winding road…” (Do you take the time to sing it in your mind like I do? If you answered no to that question... what?!) 


So last night we watched the Alanis Morrisette documentary. Add that to the fact that I’ve done a lot of reflecting this week. I’m also in the middle of working my way through the Noom lessons. What I’m reading there relates to eating but also to other life goals. 


So couple the recently watched documentaries about creative people creating art with this river picture and add the lessons and the fact that we’re about to head into a new year. Well, I guess I feel like I need a couple resolutions. 


Will I forget about them by February 1st—or possibly even January 1st since there are still a couple of weeks until 2022? 


Maybe. But I hope I can at least make it to the end of February. Maybe even into March. Then maybe the resolutions will stop being wishes and start being, well, me.


So here they are. 


In 2022, I want to try to eat consistently healthier and listen to my body’s hunger cues. I also want to write and create more. I hope to keep up with weekly prompts with Jenn for this blog. And I hope to work on my larger writing project. Plus, I hope I get a chance to record and edit some episodes of Banter and Dish Podcast with Erin.

 

Realistically I should quit my full-time job to be able to fit all of this in, right? Um, Lloyd, can I please? I’m kidding. I know I can’t do that.


But what I can do is try to use my time wisely. Maybe that means trying to keep up with chores during the week so that I don’t feel guilty on the weekends when I decide to sit with my Macbook instead of cleaning the bathroom. Maybe it’s writing on my lunch break—although I also want to move more, so maybe I need to walk then. 


I dunno. I’ll figure it out. 


Or I won’t. And I’ve learned that’s okay too. 


I’ve lived with mediocrity and putting in not quite the right amount of time and effort to reach my goals for the past 49 years, so why will 2022 be any different? It truly may not be.


I mean, I’ve been happy with just being okay with just being for this long. I don’t believe my happiness will go away even if I fail at 2022’s resolutions. 


But maybe, just maybe, this year will be different…


—Jill Cullen (written 12.17.21)


 

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